YOU GOT ASKED THE QUESTION YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR! YOU SAID YES!
YOU CALLED YOUR PEOPLE!
And as soon as you are swept away into blissful dreaming of this newly accepted reality as a fiancé…the stress inducing questions start pouring in.
What is your date? Where are you getting married? How many bridesmaids will you have? When are you starting your diet? What do you mean you’re thinking of having an outdoor wedding? What if it rains? When are you going to start having children?
As quickly as the joy and excitement came, so did the stress. Does this sound familiar?
I’ve been there, too, sister. I remember my own scenario happening just like that. I remember warning my friends soon as I saw it happening to them too. I remember witnessing it for my sister-in-law and feeling like there was just nothing I could do to stop it. It’s almost like the inevitable traffic jam on the way to work. It sucks. But it’s what you have to endure to get to where you’re going.
Well what if I told you – screw that. What if I told you that you don’t have to let your entire engagement season be utterly consumed by prompting questions, passive aggressive comments and strong-willed opinions of others. What if I told you – you could do the things that bring you joy, fulfillment, and passion and let someone else handle the rest?
“Yeah, sure. I don’t have money for that,” you may be thinking. I get it. You may not. And that’s okay. But I’m going to give you a list of ways you can make the most of your engagement season. Some take money, some take time. But regardless, taking this list into action will help you feel the things you should be feeling. Joy, happiness, bliss, peace, and contentment in the incredible season you have once in a lifetime to be engaged. Trust me – being now 5 years into marriage – there are a lot of things to love about the engagement season that you will look back on and miss. So I encourage you to be ALL IN and do your best to find a balance in the doing.
- DREAM intentionally. What are three things that matter the most to you about your wedding day? This can be ANYTHING. The people, the flowers, how you feel (stressed/carefree), the location, the music, whatever makes your heart happiest. These three things will be what you go ALL IN on (within budgetary reason, of course).
- DELEGATE the 3 most important components to the proper pros. You’ve probably heard how important delegating is for wedding planning. Well those people weren’t lying. Being in the wedding industry, I can say that I’ve seen every kind of bride. And the ones that are happiest are the ones who trust their team of people to carry their vision. By delegating, you are freeing yourself up to ENJOY your engagement season. You are taking the burden off of your shoulders to have to learn something you’ve never done before and most likely will never do before – and giving it to a pro who can do it in their sleep. This empowers you to thrive in the engagement season and enjoy your wedding day rather than be frantically stressing about if everything is going right.
- Don’t fill every weekend with unnecessary meetings. You may be tempted to meet with a bajillion vendors every weekend or go tour 80 venues to make sure everything is just right. Don’t do it (unless it’s something that brings you joy). Once you land those key 3 pros to help you out – ask them who they’d recommend you work with. They will recommend the people they trust, have relationships with, and out of that will come an incredible, unstoppable and excited team! This takes the research off of you and let’s you have more time to do the things you love. Vendors LOVE getting to work with their favorite people, too. So it’s a win win for everyone.
- Be in the moment. Self-Care. Yep, that phrase is totally overused and borderline “trendy” right now. But I don’t mind because of all the things that are trendy in the world, taking care of yourself is something that should make that mark. It matters. Yes, girl, I know you can handle everything in the entire world yourself. I know you are so freaking strong and capable. But you don’t need to – and you shouldn’t. While you’re letting your vendor team give you their best advice and work hard for your day, go on a weekend trip. Take bubble baths. Do the yoga class. Go camping. Go to all the farmer’s markets you can. Spend time with your friends and have as many girls nights as you can. Be with your siblings and make SO MANY MEMORIES. Because after the wedding day, comes an incredible marriage that will have it’s own responsibilities and
lifestyle. And this season you’re in won’t ever be the same as it is today. So life it, taste it, experience it and be ALL IN on it. You will regret it if you don’t.
- Find meaning in the things you’re spending money on. Weddings are expensive. They just are. Sure there are ways to get around that – intimate weddings, DIY weddings, elopements, etc. but they all have their own pros/cons. There is no right or wrong way to have your wedding, but the one thing I believe should come first is having a day that truly reflects you both as a couple. This is in fact a celebration of your love journey. So if there’s anything you’re spending all your wedding planning time on – it should be thinking of ways to make your day your own. Maybe this looks like planting your own wedding flowers, writing your own vows, incorporating your story into your decor, or just admiring the fact that your wedding photos are going to be INCREDIBLE keepsakes that you will love and cherish forever. By doing this, you will feel significantly less buyers remorse, and you will be investing into things that don’t just make a room pretty, but set the scene to tell your story.
- Focus on the creating a beautiful marriage, not only the beautiful wedding. Guys, I can’t say this enough. Your wedding day is THE BEST DAY EVER! I seriously believe it. But what’s coming after is a lifetime worth of amazing days that need prepared for. My husband and I spent time in our engagement season reading and working on workbooks to prepare us for what we needed to know for marriage. Ladies – MEN ARE WEIRD. It takes work getting to know your spouse and his needs and him to learn yours. This will pay off in the hard wedding planning conversations and in every day after. You will never regret pouring time and effort into the love you want to last a lifetime. I have a blog post on tools/books I recommend reading HERE. Check them out and let me know if you end up using anything of them.
If you implement these things (or even just some of them) you will have a much more enjoyable, heart-filled engagement season. I promise you! And in turn, all of your hard wedding planning will not only have been worth it, but it will have been fun and set you up for success every day after.